


An Ode To My Grievances

by wasteofchances



Series: dreary dreams [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-26 01:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16209887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasteofchances/pseuds/wasteofchances
Summary: The worst is when he knows the convict because Mingyu has been in their position once too. Meeting an old friend or an ex-colleague in situations like this isn’t ideal and definitely too taxing for Mingyu but he has no choice but to go through with it. It’s the only way he can give back. It’s the only way he can be good.





	An Ode To My Grievances

**Author's Note:**

> yes i wrote another fic solely for my friend, Ashi this is me expressing my gravest form to affection for u i hope u like it~  
> thank u hyung for going over this for me, i'll love you always  
> happy reading!!!

There’s an itch forming on Mingyu’s back, because of sweat, and despite his strong to urge to scratch it, he can’t. He’s currently jammed between Joshua and Jeonghan, who aren’t the most built members of his squad but given the size of the mini-van they’re in and the number of its occupants, there is literally no space to move. The thick black turtle neck he’s wearing is sticking to his body just like his honey colored bangs are to his forehead. He moves his hand to the opening of the turtleneck that is currently hugging his neck and moves it away. A content sigh slips from his mouth just as the air hits his skin.

 

Joshua lightly taps his fingers against Mingyu’s thigh, “We’ll be there soon, don’t worry okay.”

 

Mingyu acknowledges his assurance with a nod. It’s not just the tight space; it’s the lack of air and subdued darkness that’s acting as a memory trigger for him. His mind is hyperactive right now, with not enough distractions to keep himself occupied, and there’s nothing Mingyu can do to not trace his current situation back to a memory he doesn’t want to recall. A flash of him being locked in a cylindrical glass cage crosses his mind. Mingyu moves his head too fast, the uncalculated move ends with him knocking his head against the ceiling. He doesn’t register the pain, instead he feels as though he’s floating.

 

‘ _Breathe._ ’ Mingyu repeatedly reminds himself in his head, hoping his body will listen to him for once. He can’t afford to have a panic attack in front of his peers.

 

Luckily, he doesn’t have to pull himself out of panic, Joshua does it for him. “We’re here, let’s go.” He pats Mingyu’s back, motioning for him to get out first.

 

Mingyu has never felt more grateful. He shivers when the cold wind hits him. It’s pretty quite given how they were asked to crowd control in a party. Mingyu levels his bulletproof vest, adjusts his gun resting against his thigh, and throws one glance at his team exiting the van one by one before walking towards the hall. They were specifically asked to come through the back entrance to avoid press. God forbid if the SPD end up responsible for the bad press for Seoul’s elite, not the person who was currently holding the entire party hostage.

 

He doesn’t wait for anyone, he walks towards the hall. A wooden door attached to backside of the hall greets him and the wall assisting it has definitely seen better days. It doesn’t look nearly as pristine and grand as the entrance does.

 

Mingyu turns around, his team of five is standing behind him, and clears his throat, “Jihoon, you stay with Seungcheol, keep me updated on the security system. The rest of you will unfortunately have to go in with me.” Jihoon nods before leaving, Mingyu hears a groan when he turns around.

 

He smirks, “Cheer up Dino, I’m sure you won’t run into your sugar mommy here.” Dino lets out a disapproving sound.

 

“Hyung!” Dino objects, but Mingyu doesn’t hear him over Jeonghan laughing.

 

By definition, and the political hierarchy, royalty doesn’t really exist in South Korea, but Mingyu thinks otherwise. In essence, it does exist. Anyone who has enough money or corporate power to be influential is considered royal.

 

From that aspect, _Royalty_ , Mingyu thinks, _is a big joke_. The scent of a thousand different colognes mixed together smells expensive and disgustingly nauseating. The entire room being crowded with people and food does nothing good for his nose, the smell of sweat and edibles making him feel dizzy. The thick fabric of his bullet proof vest, that he is wearing over his black turtle neck, feels suffocating but Mingyu has seen and smelled worse. He has to remind himself that this, expensive colognes and food worth three of his pay cheques combined, is better than most of what he has experienced. He has to remind himself of the damned and ugly, because he’s aware that’s the only way he won’t lose his temper. 

 

All of this could have been avoided, had it been for the fact that his so called partner Seokmin’s seasonal allergies hadn’t acted up. Mingyu wouldn’t have had to cut his monthly visit to his grandma short, _but no!_ Some dumbass with a political agenda to bring down corporate assholes _had_ to spread a security threat on the most important night in the ‘Royal house’. Seoul’s rich and famous sure love to consider themselves royal, _how pathetic._

 

Four hours and counting, him and his entire team were pulled out of their weekend plans to help the weekend squad find the loophole in the security system and figure out who the leech was before calling it a night. So far, though, they haven’t been able to get past the horde of guests and their stupid questions. Mingyu is starting to think he won’t really be able to enjoy a nice home cooked dinner with his grandmother tonight. He has been trying to get in contact with Jihoon and Seungcheol but, as of thirty minutes ago, the only information they’ve been able to gather is that the leech is a female and that’s it. Nothing else.

 

Some old lady, standing next to him, is going on about how it’s their fault that this is happening. As if SDP’s only job is to make sure that a group of rich delinquents don’t lose their limited edition handbags. Mingyus grip on his 99 millimeter tightens; too bad it has a silencer on it because he has a good way in mind to shut everyone up. 

 

His frustration reaches its limit when a six foot tall drunk guy thrashes into him, pouring his drink down Mingyus vest and wiping all of his etiquettes with it. 

 

“For fucks sake,” He snatches the wine glass from the tall man’s hand and throws it towards a wall to his left. The loud sound brings the heavy commotion to a halt, Mingyu finally sighs in relief. He stomps his foot against the marble floor, “Listen up everyone,” he walks across to the opposite side of the room, jumps and stands on the wooden bar attached to the wall and starts yelling out commands,”THIS IS A LEVEL THREE EVACUATION, UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH LEAVE THE VENUE IMMEDIATELY. I DON’T CARE IF YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE, YOUR BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF JEWELRY OR A LIMITED EDITION SHOE INSIDE. YOUR SAFETY IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET SHOT, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.” 

 

Within seconds the room starts clearing and Mingyu doesn’t feel as suffocated anymore, he keeps an eye on his team assisting the party by guiding them to the nearest exit. A second later, he feels a buzz against his back pocket. He pulls out his phone, it’s text from his captain. 

 

**_The woman is ready to negotiate. She’s in the gallery, it’s in your hands now, Mingyu._ **

 

 

Mingyu hasn’t and probably never will get used to how unpredictable his job is. As a private spy turned negotiator turned detective, his specific set of skills land him in the worst situations possible. 

 

By that, he doesn’t necessarily mean life threatening situations- those are easier to deal to with. The worst is when he knows the convict because Mingyu has been in their position once too. Meeting an old friend or an ex-colleague in situations like this isn’t ideal and definitely too taxing for Mingyu but he has no choice but to go through with it. It’s the only way he can give back. It’s the only way he can be good. 

 

Mingyu somehow navigates his way to the gallery and takes a tentative step inside the open space. Large walls covered in white greet him with the exception of a few corners painted in different colors to represent ‘art’. The air inside is definitely colder. Mingyu feels better about his turtle neck the second the cold air hits him.  The sound of his boots echo against the large walls of the gallery, there’s art worth billions of dollars sitting on stones and what not in the name of artistic intellect. Mingyu calls it the subject of abstract and capitalistic stupidity. It’s the scent that triggers his memory. He denounces it as clean air first, but another sniff and he knows he can’t shut the million alarms blaring in his head. 

 

Mingyu stops when he finds her standing, she’s in front of a black wall next to a huge grey hand made out of clay and enclosed in rectangular shaped glass box, with her back to his face. Everything about this situation screams familiarity. He stares at her back, not finding it in him to speak till he’s sure it’s her. Her raven hair possesses more grace than half of the royalty he has encountered tonight. It’s resting loosely over her shoulder, covering almost all of her back. 

 

Mingyu catches the sheen of her golden green dress next, his eyes carefully scan it. He locates the slightly ripped part of the dress, falling over the back of the girl’s paper white knees. His primal instinct was right, he would recognize her anywhere. Even in his foggiest dreams. 

 

His gaze lowers to the girl’s thigh high socks, an encased golden knife is pressing against her right calf.It’s when he spots the alphabets engraved on the handle of the knife that Mingyu lets out a weak chuckle, he takes a few reserved steps and stops when he’s close enough for the girl to hear him. 

 

“Hello Joy.” Mingyu says, fondness dripping from his voice. The girl turns fully, her thick lips forming a smile that makes his heart jump to his throat. Her eyes follow along with the movement of her lips, forming crescents. 

 

“Hello Mingyu,” Joy tilts her head, “you look very lovely.” 

 

Mingyu preens, flattered, but he doesn’t say anything. Joy takes a step towards him and it’s so quiet that the click of her heel echoes throughout the gallery. Mingyu just hopes she’s unable to hear his heart trying to fight its way out of his chest. 

 

“I’m sorry I had to take such drastic measures to meet you,” she pushes back a long bang behind her ear. “But you know I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.” 

 

Mingyu laughs at that, displaying his pearl white teeth, “I know.” He says. There’s not much to talk about given how this is their first encounter in five years, and after Mingyu had ended his career as a spy.

 

“I miss you.” Joy whispers there’s caution in the way she’s talking like she knows one wrong move and Mingyu will slip away like he did during their last encounter, “He misses you.”

 

“You’re his bait now.” He tilts his head trying to mask his nervousness with nonchalance. Joy sighs, they’ve had this conversation so many times before that Mingyu knows exactly how this is going to end. And as much as he would love to re-enact his past, he has a mission to uphold.

 

“I know you’re not going to confess to doing any of this,” Mingyu says, “I’ll pretend I didn’t see anyone when I came here. The security is disabled anyway. Just erase yourself like you always do.” He makes a motion to walk away.

 

“Mingyu,” There’s agitation in Joy’s voice that brings his steps to a halt, “He’s here.”

 

Mingyu registers the sound of the air conditioner, the sound his boots make when pressed against the marble floor, his heavy breathing because he doesn’t want to hear what Joy is about to say, “He’s watching us right now.”

 

Mingyu lets out a brittle laugh, “So you _are_ his bait.” If he wasn’t angry before, he definitely is now. His jaw clenches as he stares at Joy.

 

“Stop saying that, stop pretending as if we weren’t a—“

 

“A team?” Mingyu cuts her off, “We were but guess what?” He walks back towards Joy and grabs her shoulders with force prompted by repressed anger and a mix of emotions he doesn’t want to concede to, “We’re not a team anymore. I have moved on, I have a job that I care about and a life that I actually want to live.” He lets go of her shoulders, almost pushing her. “So stop trying to reel me back into whatever this is. Take the hint that I don’t want to go back to that life.” Mingyu stares at Joy with bleary eyes. “Please.”

 

The sight that greets him when he turns feels like a sharp punch to the gut. Mingyu is so struck, he almost loses his balance. Wonwoo is standing a few steps away from him, wearing sweats and a hoodie that he faintly recognizes. Mingyu takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair. There’s frustration reigning his veins.

 

“What do you want?” Mingyu barks. His tone catches him and Wonwoo by surprise, making the latter jump a little.

 

“I just,” Wonwoo doesn’t make eye contact with him, and instead chooses to stare at the black wall behind him, “missed you.” His voice is barely above a whisper but Mingyu catches it anyway.

 

Mingyu lets out a loud obnoxious laugh, “And that concerns me how?”

 

“Mingyu, please” He can hear the plea in Wonwoo’s voice. It almost makes him want to give in but _no_ , he has been through this enough times to know the dark edge this manipulation always lands him to, in the end, will eventually kill him. That is, if he doesn’t pull himself back.

 

Mingyu weighs his options. There’s a crowd of three hundred something people waiting for him to deliver some good news. He can either press the trigger resting against his forearm and alert his team. Or he can drop his vest and leave. Knowing the older man and his ways, Mingyu is well aware that he won’t be given a choice. They stare at each other in silence. Mingyu doesn’t have to turn around to know Joy isn’t there, she probably left the second Wonwoo walked in. He feels his phone buzz in his back pocket, he pulls it out, bewilderment painting his face. He looks at Wonwoo with wide eyes.

 

**_Nice work, Mingyu. I’ll catch you on Monday morning, goodnight._ **

 

It’s a text from his captain. “What did you do?” He asks.

 

“Doing your work for you, as always.” Wonwoo says, his tone threaded with satisfaction and Mingyu wants throw him against a wall. His phone buzzes again, this time it’s Jihoon.

 

**_We’re leaving now, thanks for wrapping this up. See you on Monday._ **

****

As Mingyu scrolls up, he finds a text sent less than three minutes ago informing Jihoon to take rest of the squad home. He hasn’t touched his phone to type something since he walked over, thirty minutes ago.

 

“You hacked into my phone?” Mingyu says, there’s not a hint of surprise in his voice. Given his experience with Wonwoo, he had seen this coming. It just adds onto his pent up resentment towards the man. When he looks up from his phone, the smile the raven haired man is wearing stands out on his face like a hint of a rainbow in a grey sky.

 

“I just want to talk to you, Mingyu.” Wonwoo says.

 

“Okay,” Mingyu puts away his phone into his back pocket, “Let’s talk.” He smiles at the man standing in front of him. His next words eliminate the hopeful expression on Wonwoo’s face, though, “Let’s talk about how you ruined my career, sabotaged all of my relationships and turned everything good in my life into dust because you are just _that_ selfish.”

 

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo takes a step towards him, “It has been five years—“

 

“Exactly, so stop trying to resolve whatever this is because I’ve made it clear I don’t want to see you ever again.”

 

“Min, please listen to me.” Wonwoo begs, “I swear, I have changed. I’m not like that anymore please give me a chance, the guilt has been eating me alive—“

 

“I don’t care,” Mingyu yells, his voice echoing through the empty gallery. “Living with guilt is burdensome, I understand that. But do you know how hard it is to carry on when you have to deal with consequences that aren’t even your fault. I had to start from rock bottom, Wonwoo. Do you know what that feels like?”

 

“I know I was selfish,” Wonwoo says, Mingyu knows by the look on his face that the older man is trying to fight back tears, “But I did those things because I loved you.”

 

The second the words hit his ears, Mingyu loses whatever sanity that had been keeping him from punching Wonwoo. “You don’t ruin someone’s life because you love them, you did it because I was nothing but a toy to you.”

 

Before Wonwoo can say anything, Mingyu takes fast paced steps towards the exit his shoulder lightly brushes against Wonwoo’s. When the older man reaches out to grab his forearm Mingyu swats his hand away and stops walking. He looks at Wonwoo, dead in the eye.

 

“This is the last time I am going to say this,” Mingyu’s voice brimming with unwavering wrath, “Next time, you pull something like this, I will retaliate. I was weak for you once Wonwoo, but now I’m not above leaving your body in an abandoned alley without sparing a second look.”

 

Mingyu turns around, walking out of the gallery hoping that this time the ghosts of his past will finally leave him alone.

 

 


End file.
